Monkey Hammer Attack

Rifftrax Live! Jack and the Giant Killer

me — Tue, 28 Jun 2011 21:44:35 +0000

I’ve had an unusually stressful spring/summer with lots of good and bad. To deal with the bad I’ve been watching a lot of Rifftrax movies and shorts. In August they’re screening a film I’ve never seen before live at your local (U.S.) movie theater via satellite voodoo. Take some friends and check it out. It’s better than watching TV.

Updates

me — Wed, 25 May 2011 19:38:14 +0000

For those left hanging re: my latest jury duty experience (as Dave Barry might suggest, a cool band name… “Tonight! Live! The Jury Duty Experience! Opening for Selena Gomez!”), we were dismissed after roll call because the defendant’s attorney didn’t shown up. So, five minutes of public service that ruined my morning. I never did find out what the guy’s crime was. Some sort of misdemeanor, like parking on the grass or throwing a bottle at the lead singer of the Jury Duty Experience.

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The recent series of tornadoes compelled me to donate some money to charity. The Red Cross helps people, while the Humane Society and ASPCA help animals. I donated a little to all three. Every dollar helps. Donate if you can. No matter how bad your day is going, somebody somewhere is having a worse day than you.

The Ultimate Price of Democracy

me — Thu, 05 May 2011 14:22:45 +0000

… is jury duty, which I have in less than an hour. For the THIRD time since I moved to this freakish backwater town I’d never heard of. The first time, the parties settled before the trial, and the second time, for a federal trial, they decided they didn’t need me because of my close ties to former federal police officers (hi, mom) and federal judges. You know, Justice Stevens of the Supreme Court was originally supposed to marry me and my wife back in the late 90s… It’s almost too bad we had to opt for the Vegas Graceland Chapel wedding instead…

And Then There Were…

me — Thu, 10 Mar 2011 03:57:52 +0000

One Alice in Chains show at the University of Maryland promoting the release of Dirt was one of my favorite concerts EVER. Sad to hear about Mike Starr.

I first saw them open for Van Halen on an arena tour around 1990. Hardly anyone was even there to watch them play (and overshadow Van Hagar). Saw them again at Lollapalooza and again on the Dirt tour in an old gym at Univ of Maryland w/ Screaming Trees and Gruntruck. Awesome show. Now, half the guys (and girls) from my favorite 90s bands are all dead. Drugs are just not worth it, kids.

Aging

me — Thu, 10 Feb 2011 16:22:16 +0000

It’s not the little aches and pains, the realization that you’ve had a cool t-shirt for 20 years, or the trouble getting to sleep and staying asleep. No, it’s the gray nose hairs that haunt my waking hours.

“It’s unfair!” he screamed. “I’m still young!” Then he grabbed his cane and stumbled toward his Nirvana CDs, assorted nipple rings, and Diet Mountain Dew.

But he couldn’t remember where any of those things were. Or what they were. Yes, soon he would be calling his grandson for help getting things down from high shelves.

Sleep

me — Wed, 26 Jan 2011 22:40:54 +0000

If I try to go to bed by midnight, I turn out the lights and fall asleep by 1 a.m. When I try to get to bed by eleven, I get to sleep around midnight. So to get eight hours … Continue reading →

Tech? No!

me — Thu, 23 Dec 2010 21:02:33 +0000

Still trying to get my new and improved blog online. Trying out Windows Live Writer and WordPress, based on reviews. Not sure why getting these three sentences online took at least an hour.

Perfect Books I Read in 2010

me — Sat, 18 Dec 2010 21:38:41 +0000

Let the Right One In, by John Lindqvist, the basis for the original foreign film and the recent American film, titled Let Me In, this is a sprawling novel with more character and additional, mind-blowing details hiding in plain site, especially in the first film

Bloodsucking Fiends and You Suck, both by Christopher Moore, who is a sublime, funny and effortless writer, and is, according to his covers, both a bestselling and cult writer (huh? is that something like a destitute millionaire?) but no matter, he gives me hope for finding the right publisher for my novels

Sunnyside, Glen David Gold, by one of the best writers of my generation, married to one of the worst–though I’m sure she’s a nice person

The Graveyard Book, by Neil Gaiman, a simple ghost story that isn’t, it left me staggered, and probably murdered the last lingering remnants of my childhood

Almost everything by Michel Faber. I’m currently reading a pile of his collections and shorter works. His epic novel, The Crimson Petal and the White, is a work of genius, and he gets super bonus points for referencing Godflesh, the first band I saw at the 9:30 Club. The short story “Vanilla Bright Like Eminem” is a masterpiece of a short story.

New Blog

me — Fri, 17 Dec 2010 18:53:52 +0000

Wow. Lots of issues to work out moving my blog and entire site to the new software. All to make things easier… Just not yet.